seminarski radovi

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seminarski radovi

Post  Admin on Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:01 pm

Bavimo se izradom: Seminarski, maturski, maturalni i diplomski radovi iz raznih oblasti.

MATURSKI RAD
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SEMINARSKI RADOVI
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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:17 am

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man says, "Methodist."

St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"

"Baptist."

"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"

"Jewish."

"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.





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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:00 am

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...

"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:35 am

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a big head?

Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?

You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is how to learn to swim?

Shut up and get back in the sack!

Mommy, Mommy! How come sister gets to watch TV and I can't?

Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!

Mommy, Mommy! Don't push me towards the elevator shAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:42 am

Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye!

Shut up and eat around it.

Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we get a garbage compactor?

Shut up and chew!

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's too tough!

Shut up and keep chewing!

Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids?

Shut up and deal.

Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts!

Shut up and get away from the dart board!




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 10:51 pm

Ten common fishing terms explained

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.





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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:43 pm

As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  paganizonda on Tue Dec 14, 2010 11:55 pm

South Korea says it is looking into reports there may be additional uranium enrichment facilities in North Korea, in addition to its main nuclear complex at Yongbyon.

South Korea's foreign minister says the government is well aware of the possibility that North Korea has additional uranium reprocessing facilities.

Kim Sung-hwan on Tuesday said there are intelligence reports about this but he would not go into specifics.


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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:04 am

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.

Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?

Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Sat Dec 18, 2010 8:44 pm

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!."



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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:46 am

4. ENGINEERING - One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergo dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel syndrome."

5. ACCOUNTING - The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

6. HUMAN RESOURCES - Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail a letter.



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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Sun Dec 19, 2010 4:17 am

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."



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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Sun Dec 19, 2010 4:49 am

There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.

However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

So what's the moral of the story?

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.




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Re: seminarski radovi

Post  BigBoy1292 on Sun Dec 19, 2010 5:14 am

In a colleague's diary, write in 10 am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your laptop over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it"

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.

Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away.




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Re: seminarski radovi

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